A bunch of years back, I realized I needed to prioritize my love life in the same way I’d been prioritizing my education and career. The thought felt stupid and anti-feminist the first time I had it – is this really something toward which we women should devote our precious time and energy? It made me think about how previous generations were pushed to go for their Mrs. degrees in college. But I looked around at my coupled-up friends and thought, yes, this is a goal of mine. Why shouldn’t I prioritize it?
That impulse turned out to be dead on: dating requires deliberation. Goals. It demands to be prioritized.
So why not skip the Whole 30 nonsense and use the New Year to create some love-life resolutions for yourself that’ll get you out there and dating this year? Here are a few that I’d recommend.
Ask friends and family to start taking photos of you every time you’re out doing something fun.
Research shows that action shots generate more interest in online dating – so you’re gonna need a few of them! And you’re gonna need current, full-body shots for your dating profile anyway. Having your friends and family start capturing you having fun in your ordinary life is a GREAT way to start gathering the photos you need! And hey, you get to schedule TONS of fun things to do with the people you love as an excuse to take some photos.
Make a budget for new clothes and makeup – and hold it sacred.
One of the major turning points for me in my body positivity journey was when I discovered plus-size fashion. Suddenly a whole world of opportunity opened up to me. I could wear cute little dresses and wide belts and tutus and crop tops! Having clothes and makeup you love is a crucial part of feeling sexy for dates in the new year. Don’t spend that money on something else – set some aside each month, and spend it on the things that make you feel gorgeous.
Set some boundaries with the Negative Nancies in your life.
Got that one friend who thinks online dating is nothing more than a meat market? Got a mom who thinks you need to lose weight before you start dating? Maybe start experimenting with some gentle ways of asking them to BACK OFF. Online dating is HARD in many ways, but it is now tied for first place in terms of how we meet our partners these days (tied with “met in a bar”). And you are worthy of love just the way you are – just the size you are. You don’t need those negative voices dragging down your dating game in the new year.
Message Five People a Week
Set some specific online-dating goals for yourself, and then hold yourself to them. Sending out messages is the only way you’re gonna connect with anyone – so this is an important one! It’s a numbers game more than anything. Your partner is out there, but you’re going to need to kiss lots of frogs, metaphorically speaking, before you find them.
Get Started Now!
January is a great time to start putting yourself out there – because everyone else is doing it! This is the busiest time for online dating. Finding your partner involves just happening to be at the right place (even an online place) at the right time, when your future special someone happens to be there, too. It’s a numbers game, and the more people are active on the dating apps, the better your chances. So why wait! Get out there!
So take some time and think about it – what are your dating resolutions for the new year? Write them down (maybe in this Panda Planner – I’m obsessed with this thing). Try treating your love life like it’s a priority this year, and see what happens!