New Year, New OKCupid: An Overview of Some of the Changes

Welcome to 2018, lovelies! Looks like some of these cis-male-owned, cis-male-run tech companies are starting to kinda catch on to the fact that harassment is a big. fucking. deal. to us ladies, gals, and femmes. And thankfully, OKCupid is one of those companies.

The dating app has made some pretty big changes for the new year, and they’re not all good. One change is the shift from using usernames to using first names. At first, I was like, “well, my username back in the day was something like Krista242859, so I wouldn’t care about that very much,” but many fat activists and plus-size bloggers objected to this change to the point that they deleted their profiles because of privacy concerns.

One awesome activist said:

I would rather meet people literally anywhere else where I'm not required to give strangers my legal name. I've been harassed and stalked on the internet and this move is one that is highly dangerous, especially for women. I might be back if you change your minds, but til then, I'll be encouraging people to steer clear.

Considering the amount of private information we put out there on a dating site, this does seem like a risky move. Luckily it doesn’t sound like they’re doing identity checks, and they do say they’re not requiring legal names, so you can decide what you think about that change.

The new development that I think is GREAT is the shift away from open messaging! This is the biggest complaint about online dating – the absolute barrage of low-quality messages that women get through OKCupid.

The way it works now, you can still message anyone you like – and they’ll be much more likely to see your profile in their matches if you messaged them. And if someone messages you, you’ll see them high up in your matches with a little blue bar alerting you to their message.

But, get this: the message will NOT appear in your inbox unless you’ve “liked” them. They won’t be able to tell whether you’ve liked them – the message disappears from their outbox unless you end up replying – but you get complete control over whose messages you end up seeing!

Here's what it looks like when you get a message from someone you haven't "liked" yet.

Here's what it looks like when you get a message from someone you haven't "liked" yet.

I think it might be a game changer – but I can’t wait to hear what you think! Does it slow messages down to the point where you’re not really getting any at all? Does it keep you from being able to reach out to folks you’re interested in? Or does it do what it’s meant to do, and eliminate harassment online? I wanna know!!

Now’s a GREAT TIME to be online dating, by the way…it’s the busiest time of the year for online dating! More on that next week, lovely.

XO, Curvy Cupid